Why This Blog Exists

The path is long and can be foggy, being Apramatt is a necessity 

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to understand things deeply. A lot of that comes from my father. He never treated questions as disrespect. If anything, he encouraged them. Debate was normal. Going deep into things was normal.

That probably came from even before him. My great grandmother was a Sadhvi, her life story in itself is a huge motivation for Sadhna, and hence she was very aptly given the name of Sadhna Shri ji. My dad got to discuss and understand tatva gyaan with her. Not the surface level stuff, but the kind that is usually not spoken about openly because it’s hard to explain to everyone. That depth trickled down.

Because of that, I grew up being curious about everything. Science, philosophy, literature, comedy, even random hands-on stuff. My dad always supported it.

Religion was the only thing that didn’t sit well with me.

I was taught the basics growing up. Mantras, core concepts, respect, the right way to speak, all of that. But when I was around 8 to 10, I started observing other religions. Some of their rituals felt very blind. When I tried to see it from their perspective, it felt like they were completely driven by faith. They believed they were right and others were probably wrong.

That scared me. What if I blindly accept the tradition I was born into, without truly understanding it

What if I mistake inheritance for truth?

I debated with my father over the most basic fundamentals, even the existence of concepts like karma pudgal. I kept returning to the same core issue: every philosophy rests on axioms, and once you accept those axioms, everything above them begins to make sense. But what if the axioms themselves are uncertain? I did not want to build belief on borrowed conviction.

So for a long time, I chose a middle path. I focused on what made sense practically, ethically and scientifically. Ahimsa, minimalism, reducing anger, greed, ego. In Jain terms, samvar.
In hindsight I used to feel that if I am not actively doing nirjara(active shedding of karma by sadhna, tap, etc. because of lack of conviction), at least I can avoid new karm bandhan! I was playing it safe. Even in college I was focussed on self control, staying minimalist, a lot of those came from experimenting with things, getting absorbed in things and seeing things from third person pov.

Later, I decided to go deeper into jainism.

I had studied things before, but always with doubt at the root. This time I wanted to actually understand. Anekantwad was a big shift for me. The idea that truth can be seen from multiple angles made a lot of sense. It allowed me to open up instead of staying defensive.

I started connecting Jain concepts with psychology, science, and other philosophies. I saw overlaps. I also saw that other religions are not always as clean logically. They felt more like chemistry with too many exceptions. But even chemistry is true despite exceptions, so I stopped dismissing things easily.

At some point, I realised something simple. You can’t walk a path if you keep doubting the ground beneath every step. So I decided to trust the axioms of Jainism and then explore deeply.

That changed things.

From a lifestyle perspective, I was already aligned towards minimalism, ahimsa, and low kashay. That helped me with everything else too. Work, money, investing, discipline. I plan to retire by 35 and spend more time researching anekantwad and optimising life based on that and sharing what I learn with the world.

But I didn’t want to wait till then.

So I started diving deeper even while working. Reading, thinking, debating with my dad. He always gave me space, never forced anything.

But then a new problem came up.

Too much depth started leading to inaction.

When you become aware of how vast karma is, how difficult moksha seems, and how imperfect daily life can feel, it is easy to get overwhelmed. At times I even wondered whether aiming for moksha was practical at all. But over time, I came to understand that the path is not about doing everything perfectly in every moment. It is about moving in the right direction consistently. Drops fill the ocean. An SIP may not give the best price every time, but it builds the long-term result. The same logic applies to dharm.

The path is long and it is not fully visible.

It is like walking in fog. You don’t see the entire journey. You only see the next few steps.

And that is enough.

That’s what Apramatt means to me. Staying aware of the step I’m taking right now. Not perfect, just conscious.

That realization helped me stop demanding impossible perfection from myself.

I began to think of life in terms of vigilance (apramatt) not obsession. The goal is not to over-analyze every action until life becomes frozen. The goal is to stay awake enough to improve, but not so rigid that awareness becomes paralysis. And to slowly bring apramatt state into autopilot. To live intentionally without losing balance.

This blog is my attempt to explore life through the lens of Jainism, but not only through Jainism. I want to understand things through all possible lenses ethical, philosophical, psychological, scientific, social, practical and then see what remains true. I want to write about what I learn, what I question, what I struggle with, and what I begin to see more clearly over time.

The name of this blog is Apramatt .

That name feels right because that is what I am trying to practice: vigilance in thought, vigilance in action, vigilance in intent. Not in a fearful way, but in a conscious way. Not as perfectionism, but as awareness. Not to claim certainty, but to keep moving closer to truth.

This blog is where I will try to turn samyak gyaan(Right Knowledge) into samyak darshan (right perception/understanding), and samyak darshan into Samyak Charitra / Acharan (Right conduct).

And if these writings help even one person think a little more deeply, question a little more honestly, or live a little more consciously, then this blog will have already served its purpose.